Wednesday, October 21, 2009

President Attacked by Rabbit

Yes. That's a real headline. If it doesn't ring a bell for you; don't despair. It just means you are part of the younger generation, like myself, spared by the disastrous Carter Administration. When I came across the story, I was overcome with giddiness and joy, not because a former and rather objectionable President was "attacked by a rabbit" (ok maybe a little) but because a rabbit had made it into the headlines with him. After all, my blog is devoted to politics, mayhem and rabbits... I'm here to tell you, no story could be more relevant to this blog.

The story begins on a swamp in Jimmy Carter's hometown of Plains, Georgia on April 20, 1979. The president had decided to take a leisurely solo fishing expedition that afternoon and fell prey to what was referred to as a "swamp rabbit" which was "hissing menacingly, its teeth flashing and nostrils flared" and literally b-lining toward the President's boat. Unlike most, I am more than familiar with a rabbits ability to swim, hiss, growl, purr and do an array of other things people don't generally associate with rabbits. But the fact that Jimmy Carter was not only victimized but photographed during such an attack is pure insatiable comedy fun. Frozen in time as a testament that even rabbits knew this guy was a hack. According to secret service and the white house photographer, Carter was flailing around splashing the ore into the water trying to ward off our fuzzy friend. And according to these same sources was pretty shaken up by the whole event and pleaded with his staff not to leak information about the attack. His press secretary later divulged that, “The animal was clearly in distress, or perhaps berserk. The President confessed to having had limited experience with enraged rabbits. He was unable to reach a definite conclusion about its state of mind. What was obvious, however, was that this large, wet animal, making strange hissing noises and gnashing its teeth, was intent upon climbing into the Presidential boat.”

So here's the count folks

Rabbit 1
Carter 0