Friday, July 10, 2009
This my friends, is about the only thing I approve of that this man has done as president.
Oh, yes and funding stem cell research. That too.
But this! Does it not just eclipse all the maddening and seemingly naive moves this guy has made for the past 171 days?
I've come to a conclusion. This man truly is playing hard ball. What, with all the late night show appearances, booty checking, commercial filming for recruiting his "citizens army" and Special Olympics bashing, I'm having real trouble keeping my pawns on the board. I'm seriously considering hiring his teleprompter. And his PR person. And Joe Biden.
Honestly, I'll definitely need Biden or someone equally as eloquent with his impeccable timing and phrasing if I'm going to have any chance at winning the affections of hippies, environmentalists, feminatzis , welfare recipients, illegal immigrants, Hollywood, elites, and the media.
1. Just make sure you "have my back" so to speak
If I say or commit to something ludicrous , just make sure you one up me with in a day or two.
2. Make apocalyptic statements regarding economic and foreign policy affairs.
When my soft spots are showing please broadcast ad nauseum that I have inherited nearly irreconcilable problems and that my adversaries are just testing the waters.
3. Compare me to Kennedy, Reagan and Jesus.
4. Don't acknowledge my past ties, cronies and tax/property shenanigans
If my dirty laudry is being aired out on the white house lawn, could you please wash and fold that?